Feel Disconnected? How Did We Get There?
First let’s look at how we got disconnected. Maybe it was asking for help and not getting it. Or, it was not having someone to depend on, for example, one-parent households, parents who were ill or unable to function for themselves, being the oldest and being put in charge for whatever reason. We have learned that the only way to get things done is to help ourselves. We have just learned to help ourselves. We have learned self-help so well that we have become a nation of one.
The definition of self-help according to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary explains it this way: The action or process of bettering oneself or overcoming one’s problems without the help aid of others; esp: the coping with one’s personal or emotional problems without professional help. If we feel the need to be autonomous, it might be due to some hurt in the past that has caused us to give up on people. We feel it is easier to be self-sufficient and not be involved in dealing with others. Another reason we have become so self-sufficient is the Internet. We don’t even have to be present in each others lives to connect with one another. Social networks have filled the need to connect without any emotional connection. All we do is just publish almost every minute of our lives and feel that we have done our part to be apart of life as a whole without involving other people. Some sit in their living rooms and connect over the Internet and never have any real contact with other people personally. This has helped propagate the belief that we don’t have to have that connection in our lives.
We believe that is it because we are too busy. We reason in our minds that we don’t really have the time to reach out in our neighborhoods, schools, or the grocery store. But deep down we know it is because of the fear of rejection. It is easier to accept someone unfriending us on Facebook than it is dealing with losing a friendship in real life.
Learning Not To Base Our Present On Our Past
A lot of our reactions to people have been based on a lifetime of rejection. If we didn’t fit in in high school, then we are afraid of the idea that someone will think we are abnormal or weird. We feel if we put ourselves out there to let someone know that we require some help to change the way we live, we will be looked down on.
One thing we have to realize is that we are not in high school anymore and that there are lots of people who would be happy and qualified to help us. Everyone is not the bully we had to deal with, or the people who didn’t understand the way you tried to communicate with them, or the teacher who thought you were anti-social instead of shy.
We have to begin to realize that everyone has a problem communicating with someone. Just imagine that you are running for a political office and you want everyone to love you and vote for you. That is not realistic. It is not possible to have everybody like what you would have to say. It’s just not feasible.
We All Need Help Sometimes In Our Lives
We all need help sometimes in our lives. Physical sickness, birth, and death are all the ways we ask for help without putting limitations on it. These are physical things that we go through that we just deal with because it is physical. But what about our emotional selves. How can we just minimize something that controls the way we think and perceive others and the world around us.
Emotional well-being needs to start coming to the foreground in our everyday lives. It has so much to do with our physical bodies, our relationships, and our happiness. With not recognizing our emotional wellness, we put ourselves through a lot of pain and hurt that we could be avoided by getting help and having the right frame of mind.
Studies show, (read article from Psychology Today by Emma M. Sepal, PHD), that we need the connection of other people. It not only keeps us healthier, but also lowers anxiety and depression. We are made to be connected and to share in each others lives. We have a better chance of living longer, happier lives.
Emotional Wellness Cannot Be Ignored
Emotional wellness has been ignored and diminished to the point of causing major issues in the way we deal with ourselves. Physical aliments, suicide, depression, broken homes are the results of ignoring a very important part of who we are.
To begin to heal our broken lives we need to take the first step and ask for help. Whether it be from someone close to us, or someone who is a professional, we need to set aside our fears and misgivings about people not being there for us.
There are many organizations just waiting for you to take the first step. If it seems to overwhelming to talk to a professional, start small. Find a group, meetup, or function that will help you ease back into coming in contact with people on a personal level.
“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” -Martin Luther King Jr.
Let’s explore some solutions to help you get back into the human race.
Connecting With A Group or Individuals
- Meetups in your area, (go to http://www.meetup.com to find a group you can work with).
- Mentoring someone, (sign up to help tutor college students).
- Volunteer Work, (local hospitals, elderly care, food banks).
- Local Schools, (after school programs, tutoring, PTA).
- Mental Wellbeing, (crafting clubs, painting lessons, hobbyists, and courses at your local colleges).
Deeper Levels Of Help To Reconnect
- Life Coaching, (contact us at Well With Life to find out how we can help you).
- Family Therapy, (with a licensed therapist)
- Individual Therapy, (if you know you have something specific that you are dealing with)
- Medication Doctors, (to help with serious disorders, mental and physical)
- Mental Health Organizations (specific to depression, PTSD, etc.),(see Help Page)
- Grief Counseling-Maybe you have suffered a loss and have withdrawn from doing the things you like to do.
We now more than ever need to connect and pull together as a human consciousness. We need to reach out and be connected with each other and learn how to be a community. Let’s start today and do our part to change the world.